This sign makes me vomit. I hate it. Unfortunately, it’s just down the street from my office so I have to walk past it all too often. At first glance, you may wonder what’s wrong with free buffets, happy hour and cheap drinks. Wasn’t America built on excessive consumption and cheap booze? And the answer might be “maybe.”
Why does this sign turn my stomach? It’s a draw for the a “gentlemen’s club” in San Francisco – we’ll leave the discussion on the (de)merits of these establishments for another day. The top headline “Free Buffet Every Friday 11:00am – 2:00pm.” Let’s discuss. A buffet inside a strip club is so overly Bachanalian that Bachus himself would be ashamed. But more importantly, am I the only one who sees a sanitation issue here? Here’s what I want to know:
- Are patrons allowed multiple trips to the buffet? If so, are they allowed to return after they receive a lap dance?
- Is this a self-serve buffet or is it attended by a waitstaff (think Omelet Guy at a Marriot buffet) who handles the food for the patrons?
- If the answer to Question #2 is “self-serve,” how long are the tongs? How is the use of tongs enforced? Who the hell still eats there?
- Do the dancers smell like buffalo wings by 2:00pm? Not a major concern of mine but kinda gross to think about.
- Does the CDC know about this?
- How much Purell is consumed around the buffet and why isn’t the volume greater?
The list could go on and on. And I think it should. So let’s put the comments section of this blog to use and let me know what you think.
Tags: bachus, free buffet, purell
October 21, 2008 at 12:15 pm
My personal rule is that I never eat at a restaurant where the bottom of the waitresses’ skirts are above the top of the table. I assume that this place would be disqualified due to the total lack of skirts. I also apply this rules to the length of waiters’ shorts.
December 18, 2008 at 1:22 pm
You had me at:
“A buffet inside a strip club is so overly Bachanalian that Bachus himself would be ashamed.”
Reminds me of Jay Leno’s biography (yes, I’m one of the three that read it) when he talks about a club when he started doing comedy. They had free breakfast, and he pictured the girls up on stage, hair in curlers, cooking bacon and eggs for the patrons.
February 23, 2009 at 1:52 am
I’ve never known a strip joint on the Gulf Coast to have that. But I won’t be surprised if it catches-on here!
In college, I had some friends from Bangladesh and Pakistan accompany me to a strip joint one night. I can’t help but laugh, every time I remember how pissed-off one of my friends was, as we were leaving, “You can’t touch the girls, no matter how much money you give them! What the hell? They should close that place down!” Welcome to America, my friend!
On a related subject, you may have seen this bumper sticker before, but in case you haven’t: I’M AS CONFUSED AS A BABY IN A TOPLESS BAR!